What's it like raising twins plus one?

It is a very rewarding job. Hard at times, but worth it. As any parent would say about raising any child. However, juggling two toddlers and a preschooler is a task. Sometimes you do feel like a cattle herder, just trying to get them to go through the gate. This age has been the most demanding so far...and I say so far with an emphasis as we haven't even hit the demands of teenage years. But compared to when Miles and Camryn weren't so mobile (running, climbing, throwing, dancing, etc.) this is a challenging time. And I truly do think they plan their attacks. It's as if Miles tells Camryn, "I'll dump out the cereal while you go over there and get the batteries out of the remote." Or "I'll start screaming banana and you throw a fit over wanting some juice." I guess it's no different than when they were newborns and would be crying at the same time. Well, maybe a little different because now they can hold onto your legs as you try to get them what they want or follow you around screaming for that banana or juice. And my legs have become a source of entertainment. Miles and Camryn have some sort of game they play as one stands on one side of my legs and the other stands on the other and they stick their heads through the gap as I'm cooking or washing dishes, lots of laughter from them. Makes moving around a little hard. Going places where their freedom is allowed (where they aren't confined to a stroller or shopping cart) is a challenge. At home we've created a mostly toddler-proof, safe zone in every room. When we go somewhere that this hasn't occurred, it's not enjoyable for me. Life as a singleton mother is a breeze at this age as following one toddler around in a non-toddler-proof zone is not such a burden. Following two toddlers the same age in a non-toddler-proof zone is stressful. One adult chasing two running, hiding, climbing, prodding, toddlers in other environments is not ideal. I've now learned that I should bring my own toddler proofing kit wherever we go so as to eliminate some of the "danger". So if we visit and I put safety plugs over your electrical plugs, rubber bands on your cabinet knobs and put your curtains in knots, please don't take offense. I'm only trying to make my visit a little less stressful and more enjoyable and to keep your belongings safe from destruction (that's if I remember to pack everything). And for those of you that have scoffed at people who put their children on leashes, remember to never judge a book by its cover. I've never used a leash with any of my children. However, I can understand why some people would choose that type of confinement. Sometimes at this age they just want to walk around and strollers don't allow that. So walking+leash=happy child, happy parents. At least the child that is on the leash is getting exercise while her stroller confined peers are not. Again, I've never used a leash for my children, but I do not pass judgement on those that chose to do so as I can see how it is less stressful and less of a fight to put them on a leash and walk the mall. I don't think I could give up the confinement of a stroller for two kids the same age since I'd be having to watch what each one is getting into. Nonetheless, it is a choice that has a reason behind it.



Do they already have a close relationship? Definitely. As different as they are, you can see the bond they have with each other. Camryn may act independent, but she loves her brother. Miles points to Camryn every morning and says "titter" excitedly. Camryn is the last one to settle down at night and as I peek in to check on them she can be found right next to Miles, or laying on top of Miles with her feet in his face, or laying her chest on his legs and looking up at him trying to talk to him even though he's already asleep. They've been together since the beginning of their life. That's something us non-twin-types will never fully understand. They've shared a lot of tender moments before and after entering this world and also had their fair share of sibling fights, in womb and out.



When will I separate them? They still share a crib and until it becomes a problem I don't intend to separate them. Once they are big enough to move to a bigger bed I'll provide two beds for them, but I don't intend to split them into separate rooms unless they desperately request such a thing. Of course I recognize them as individuals and am not trying to make them be one. I feel that I'm being respectful of their special bond, one I will never fully understand. But I can imagine that it would be hard to be forced to be separated from someone that has been with you since you can remember and you weren't ready for that separation. So I will wait until it is a problem for them or they tell me they need to be separated.



How does Macey interact with them? Most of the time she has a blast with them. Chasing, laughing, wrestling, singing, dancing...she loves her brother and sister. Obviously there are times when it is annoying to have a brother or sister or both trying to play with the toy you picked out to play with. So, Sean and I provide a space for Macey to place her things so that Miles and Camryn cannot get to them. She definitely loves them and misses them when they aren't around. I hope they continue to be close and that Macey will not ever feel left out or like the third wheel. I know I'm going to make every effort to make sure that doesn't happen.



How are they different? Oh, this is easy. Miles is my little funny man. Prankster, funny little guy. He laughs so easily. He finds humor in so much. He always has. He loves to play games with you. He's also all boy. Throwing everything. He loves to throw things down the stairs, out of the bathtub, out of the door, into the trash, etc. And he mainly uses his left hand when throwing. Even when eating he puts his spoon in his left hand...so maybe we have a lefty. He's also cautious in new environments. He needs a little time to adjust with new people or new places. Once he finds his groove, he's good to go. He's kept up with being very vocal. He will be the first to let you know that he is hungry ("eat, eat") or that he's done eating ("un down") or what he wants to do. I'm just amazed at the conversations I can have with him at this age. Camryn is my very emotional, independent little diva. She wants to do it her way on her time. And if you interupt her time, big tears and loud protesting. She also doles out the sweetest kisses. Saying "mmuah" with each kiss as she tenderly pecks you on the cheek. She is also the most fearless kid I've known. Some of her feats include climbing into our bar height chairs and sitting as if she's grown. And climbing on top of the sofa table and standing very proudly. I truly believe that she thinks she can do it all. And strangers, what is that? She thinks every new place is a place that was anticipating her arrival and she makes her presence known. Two distinct personalities who happened to be born on the same day.



Lessons learned from having twins:

1. Never give one of them something different to eat or drink when they are young. They are perceptive to these things very early on. If they feel like the other one has gotten something "more enjoyable" a fight or fit will ensue. Miles still has food allergies, so you guess it, Camryn mostly only eats what Miles can eat. If you want to give Camryn something Miles can't have, you better do it out of sight of Miles. And if you give one juice and not the other, they know, they can tell what is in a cup. Boycotting their cup has occurred as well as stealing the other ones cup. I'm guessing that they'll grow out of this and want very distinctive things, but for now we try to keep it equitable to avoid meltdowns.
2. Always bring booster seats with you when having to eat out of the house. This is because many places don't have lots of highchairs or the likelihood of two of them that work (i.e. snap) being available may be slim. Being prepared for this is crucial. Even traveling to other houses. Feeding two 17 month olds at the same time, forget it if you can't confine them.
3. Don't be stunned when your son requests a hair bow be put in his hair because he just witnessed his sister get one put in her hair. We've not made it in public with it in his hair, but he's definitely had a few put in his hair before leaving the house.
4. Never underestimate the brain power of two toddlers. They've been found standing on top of a turned over large mixing bowl trying to open the bathroom door. I'm not looking forward to the day when they figure out that one can hoist the other one up to get something out of reach.
5. If you think you child proofed your house for a previous child, think again. Child proofing take on a whole new meaning when there's two to chase and keep safe.
6. There are many lessons we've learned and will continue to learn. Hopefully we don't make too many mistakes along the way.

We are glad we have each one of the children we have and raising twins plus one has been a fun and exciting (sometimes exhausting) ride. And I'm sure raising twins, plus two will be even better...I guess we'll find out in August!